Eugene Peterson has so often described my life and heart in his words. Here's a passage (via) that was just what I needed early this morning:
“In running a church I solve problems. Wherever two or three are
gathered together, problems develop… It is satisfying to my ego to help
make rough places smooth.The difficulty is that problems arrive in such
constant flow that problem solving becomes full-time work. Because it
is useful and the pastor ordinarily does it well, we fail to see that
the pastoral vocation has been surverted. Gabriel Marcel wrote that
life is not so much a problem to be solved as a mystery to be explored.
That is certainly the biblical stance: life is not something we manage
to hammer together and keep in repair by our wits; it is an
unfathomable gift. We are immersed in mysteries: incredible love,
confounding evil, the creation, the cross, grace, God.
The secularized mind is terrorized by mysteries. Thus it makes lists,
labels people, assigns roles, and solves problems. But a solved life is
a reduced life. These tightly buttoned-up people never take great faith
risks or make convincing love talk. They deny or ignore the mysteries
and diminish human existence to what can be managed, controlled, and
fixed. We live in a cult of experts who explain and solve. The vast
technological apparatus around us gives the impression that there is a
tool for everything if we can only afford it. Pastors cast in the role
of spiritual technologists are hard put to keep that role from
absorbing everything else, since there are so many things that need to
be and can, in fact, be fixed.
But “there are things,” wrote Marianne Moore, “that are important
beyond all this fiddle.” The old time guide of souls asserts the
priority of the “beyond” over “this fiddle.” Who is available for this
kind of work other than pastors? A few poets, maybe; and children,
always. But children are not good guides, and most of the poets have
lost interest in God. That leaves pastors as guides through the
mysteries..”
The Contemplative Pastor
“The Christian community is interested in spirituality because it is
interested in living. We give careful attention to spirituality because
we know, from long experience, how easy it is to get interested in
ideas of God and projects for God and gradually lose interest in God
alive, deadening our lives with the ideas and projects. This happens a
lot. Because the ideas and projects have the name of God attached to
them, it is easy to assume that we are involved with God. It is the
devil’s work to get us worked up thinking and acting for God and then
subtly detach us from a relational obedience and adoration of God,
substituting our selves, our godlike egos, in the place originally
occupied by God.”
- Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places, 31
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