Ponder this...

The time has come...

Looks like I'm going to setup my blog/shop over on WP for the next while.

Come find me at ponderthis.ca and let me know what you think!

Family Matters

I've come across some stuff lately about marriage and parenting that I think is worth pondering...

About Marriage

What is the #1 predictor of divorce?  This article gives the answer and then goes on to share some good encouraging truths like this:

"Couples need to know what the research has found: that every happy, successful couple has
approximately ten areas of "incompatibility" or disagreement that they will never resolve.
Instead, the successful couples learn how to manage the disagreements and live life "around" them
– to love in spite of their areas of difference, and to develop understanding and empathy for
their partner's positions."

Read more

How do affairs happen?  Here is an interesting interview with a mega-church Pastor who reflects on how and why he had an affair.

Aspects of my marriage seemed unfulfilling, so I thought: what harm would there be in a bit of attention from others? Again…pure selfishness and I swallowed the deceptions hook, line and sinker. It's a subtle slide. I should have remembered, most sin is all fun at first. Or said another way: I had already bought before I ever saw the price.

Read more

Some good questions to ask ourselves:

If my marriage could speak what would it say?

What would it be like to be married to me?

About Parenting

Dad, are you trying to be to cool?

Be the adult! Be the loving, compassionate, tender, but very-much-in-charge parent! It’s one of life’s ironies: that the one thing kids say they don’t want (rules and limits) is what they need.

Read more

Are parents more happy than non-parents?  Should they be?

"When it comes to happiness, we must aim for something higher..." read more

Oak Park Teaching Podcasts

We've redone our podcast and teaching audio sections at Oak Park with a new itunes podcast location.  You can sign up here. 

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Dad Life from Church on the Move on Vimeo.

In the past month I've read about a frightening number of relationships destroyed through the "reconnection" experience of social media.  Walt Mueller put it like this...

"It seems that lawyers in the U.K. are reporting that the growth and popularity of social networking sites like Facebook are being used by people to make online connections (new friends, former classmates, old romances) that oftentimes lead to cheating, adultery, and divorce. The problem isn't Facebook. The problem is how the fallen and broken human heart leaves us with a bent towards using Facebook in dangerous ways. Over the course of the last three or four years, I have seen the growth of social networking technologies paralleled by a growth of poor decisions and crossed boundaries by Christian brothers and sisters who should know better. I have sat across from many who have entered into emotional and/or physical extra-marital affairs that have led to tremendous amounts of pain and difficulty that reaches far beyond just the immediate participants, some of which has resulted in divorce. The lawyers in the U.K. are saying that now, one in five divorce petitions they're processing cite Facebook as either the way petitioners find out about their partner's infidelity, and/or how their partner began or pursued extra-marital relationships." 

Read the rest : Divorce: Facebook Made Me Do It

Since his death, the stories about the character of John Wooden continue to inspire me.  Here is one:

Just a couple of youtube's today.  The first is by one of my favorite songwriters; David Wilcox. This is his take on the current news. The second is some classic Cosby Show that seemed fitting for a Father's Day weekend...

How exactly do you measure maturity? I'm thinking this graph is one way.

The Ten Most Amazing Structures in the world. Would living in one of them make you feel more creative?

Donald Miller shares some good insight on the power of having social goals - Good idea! I wish I would started those years ago!

I've referenced William Bridges book transition so many times in the past five years. Here is Bill Donahue's summary if you haven't read the book. So many of our challenges come from forgetting that change is different than transition but certainly includes it.

Adam McHugh is speaking my language in his article "The Ancient Art of Listening: Spiritual Direction for Evangelicals and Introverts.

How about trading in our mission/vision statements for a passion statement? Some good thoughts here

Quote that has me aligned this week (I like the stream metaphor):

The truth is that nothing in this earth can finally satisfy us. Much can make us content for a time but nothing can fill us to the brim. The reason is that our final joy lies “beyond the walls of this world,” as J.R.R Tolkien put it. Ultimate beauty comes not from a lover or a landscape or a home, but only through them. These earthly things are solid goods, and we naturally relish them. But they are not our final good. They point to what is higher up and further back…Even if we fall deeply in love and marry another human being, we discover that our spiritual and sexual oneness isn’t final. It’s wonderful, but not final. It might even be as good as human oneness can be, but something in us keeps saying “not this” or “still beyond”…What Augustine knew is that human beings want God…God has made us for himself. Our sense of God runs in us like a stream, even though, because of sin, we divert it toward other objects. We human beings want God even when we think that what we really want is a green valley, or a good time from our past, or a loved one. Of course we do want these things and persons, but we also want what’s behind them. Our inconsolable secret, says C.S. Lewis, is that we are full of yearnings, sometimes shy and sometimes passionate, that point us beyond the things of earth to the ultimate reality of God.

- Cornelius Plantinga

Dad Life

Dad Life from Church on the Move on Vimeo.

Did Facebook make me divorce?

In the past month I've read about a frightening number of relationships destroyed through the "reconnection" experience of social media.  Walt Mueller put it like this...

"It seems that lawyers in the U.K. are reporting that the growth and popularity of social networking sites like Facebook are being used by people to make online connections (new friends, former classmates, old romances) that oftentimes lead to cheating, adultery, and divorce. The problem isn't Facebook. The problem is how the fallen and broken human heart leaves us with a bent towards using Facebook in dangerous ways. Over the course of the last three or four years, I have seen the growth of social networking technologies paralleled by a growth of poor decisions and crossed boundaries by Christian brothers and sisters who should know better. I have sat across from many who have entered into emotional and/or physical extra-marital affairs that have led to tremendous amounts of pain and difficulty that reaches far beyond just the immediate participants, some of which has resulted in divorce. The lawyers in the U.K. are saying that now, one in five divorce petitions they're processing cite Facebook as either the way petitioners find out about their partner's infidelity, and/or how their partner began or pursued extra-marital relationships." 

Read the rest : Divorce: Facebook Made Me Do It

300 Love Letters

Since his death, the stories about the character of John Wooden continue to inspire me.  Here is one:

Saturday Youtube

Just a couple of youtube's today.  The first is by one of my favorite songwriters; David Wilcox. This is his take on the current news. The second is some classic Cosby Show that seemed fitting for a Father's Day weekend...

Friday links

How exactly do you measure maturity? I'm thinking this graph is one way.

The Ten Most Amazing Structures in the world. Would living in one of them make you feel more creative?

Donald Miller shares some good insight on the power of having social goals - Good idea! I wish I would started those years ago!

I've referenced William Bridges book transition so many times in the past five years. Here is Bill Donahue's summary if you haven't read the book. So many of our challenges come from forgetting that change is different than transition but certainly includes it.

Adam McHugh is speaking my language in his article "The Ancient Art of Listening: Spiritual Direction for Evangelicals and Introverts.

How about trading in our mission/vision statements for a passion statement? Some good thoughts here

Quote that has me aligned this week (I like the stream metaphor):

The truth is that nothing in this earth can finally satisfy us. Much can make us content for a time but nothing can fill us to the brim. The reason is that our final joy lies “beyond the walls of this world,” as J.R.R Tolkien put it. Ultimate beauty comes not from a lover or a landscape or a home, but only through them. These earthly things are solid goods, and we naturally relish them. But they are not our final good. They point to what is higher up and further back…Even if we fall deeply in love and marry another human being, we discover that our spiritual and sexual oneness isn’t final. It’s wonderful, but not final. It might even be as good as human oneness can be, but something in us keeps saying “not this” or “still beyond”…What Augustine knew is that human beings want God…God has made us for himself. Our sense of God runs in us like a stream, even though, because of sin, we divert it toward other objects. We human beings want God even when we think that what we really want is a green valley, or a good time from our past, or a loved one. Of course we do want these things and persons, but we also want what’s behind them. Our inconsolable secret, says C.S. Lewis, is that we are full of yearnings, sometimes shy and sometimes passionate, that point us beyond the things of earth to the ultimate reality of God.

- Cornelius Plantinga